Sunday Research Fun Day

Typically, on the weekends I do absolutely nothing. I don’t party, I don’t do my hobbies, I don’t see anyone, I don’t do anything. I sleep. Eat. Sleep, watch TV, eat, sleep. Wake up, repeat. I don’t even workout, which would be the logical thing to do since I have the time and energy. Usually I just complain that I’m not making enough to save money and do nothing about it.

Today, however, I pep talked myself into looking at my life. How do I plan to make more money? How will I have fun while making money? How can I do what I love rather than work to pay bills? How will I turn it around? How will I become the best version of myself? Or will I remain comfortable? Work this job until I’m retirement age, and hope to turn things around later in life? Considering that last option makes me very unhappy so let’s not make that an actual option. I want to either be self-employed and own a few fashion related businesses. I don’t want to work under someone else forever. So, what do I want to do?

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been into fashion. ALWAYS.

I wanted to be a fashion designer for about 6 years between high school and college, then I wanted to design jewelry (in fact I still do but I want to wait until I increase my income), now I want to become a personal stylist and change people’s life through style and positive thinking. I was doing some research and learned I’m already on track for being a personal stylist. I’ve had lots of practice while working at DSW and New York and Company and I have an associate’s degree in fashion merchandising. I have also practiced on a handful of clients, mannequins, friends, family and myself. However, I need to create a new portfolio because I can’t find my old one (you have no idea how frustrated I am about this). I need to recreate proof that I can understand the needs of clients and help them regain their confidence by showing them how they can put their best foot forward or help with fashion projects.

I will start with myself first. My style hasn’t been the best lately, I realize it’s because I haven’t been bothering to keep up my appearance nor expanding my dwindling wardrobe. There’s more to style than just looking good. People who tend to stop caring for themselves have stopped valuing themselves. Some of the best dressers are just wearing a mask. When you take pride in yourself and who you are, you aren’t going to leave your house looking raggedy or overdone. Granted it’s better to be overdressed than under dressed, there are some occasions where overdressing can make one look desperate for attention, even if they aren’t. I think of dressing well as good PR: when your intended audience receives the message you intended for them to receive. Sometimes we think we’re sending the confidence signals, while Gucci’ed-down, but what we’re really sending is “I need to be validated”, “I value price tags not my self-worth” or “I’m self conscious about my lack of boobs, looks at these Gs instead”.

I want to make permanent change in people’s life. I want to be more than just a personal stylist. I want to teach women how to dress themselves and take control of their lives.

However, I must first start with taking control of myself. I must reign in my unhealthy thought patterns, unhealthy eating habits and workout on a consistent basis. I must start believing in myself and make decisions rather than avoid decision. There’s lots of growing to do if I am to become greater than June Ambrose. In the past, I have quit trying to be a stylist about 4 times all due to intimidation. I was the weakest link and when the going got tough, I’d get to thinking “I should just quit while I’m ahead, this isn’t for me”. I realize now, I was just being a quitter. This time I won’t quit, pause maybe, but no quitting.


Vegan Blueberry Muffins with Waka Flocka and Raury

After a weekend of Valentine’s Candy

And cupcakes it’s time we stop making excuses to cheat ourself out of a healthy and longer life. I recently bought this book because it’s often stressed that entrepreneurs must have a handle on their health in order to be successful. I imagine that this makes sense because if you are going to take the non 9 to 5 route, that may mean forgoing health insurance. The last distraction from your business and resources you need is a personal health crisis. For entrepreneurs and freelancers a like, if you don’t work, you don’t eat.
Clean Slate a Cookbook and Guide
The video (and the fact that I’ve already put myself out there as someone who knows better than to eat an entire package of golden oreos, or #32oreos) inspired me to get back on track.
I suggest for your own health’s sake, you get healthy Raury,  Flaka and I.

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Are you mentally prepared for your own business?

Is there ever a right time to start a business?

I’ve been waiting for the “right time” and while waiting for a date to take flight, everyone else around me seems to have taken off already, including my partner. He has multiple businesses going at the same time. And I struggle to start and stick with one. Am I not passionate enough? Is the timing wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Am I meant to just have a 9 to 5, then pursue a passion during retirement?

I ask myself these questions almost daily, now. 

I know I’m not happy with my day job. No disrespect to my day job, it’s just not for me. I dare not say that when they ask me, clearly I’m not doing a great job of hiding the fact that I’m unhappy there. I do my best regardless of how unfulfilling the tasks are because at the end of the day, I’m not in a place where I can proudly say “I don’t work for money, money works for me” because I do work for income and not the other way around. It’s just not a path to the end game that I want for my life.

I know personally, I need to focus on Jazmine. 

Whether it’s getting to know her more or mastering the basics of life like paying bills on time, getting enough sleep at night, getting healthy, being consistent with anything really and organizing myself (I need to be successful, so I can hire a maid because I’m just messy). In fact, I hear this quite often

“the way you organize your house is a reflection of how you organize your thoughts” 

says my life coach boyfriend, as I look around at my now messy studio apartment and realize “well, this definitely isn’t the right time to start a side hustle. Not until I tackle this mess, physically and mentally”. Sadly, I can’t even find the remote right now and haven’t been able to since Friday.

But what about all the quotes that say: “Everything you need is inside you”?

I’m sure they are right. I think what they mean is you must have a certain level of mindfulness and look inward to find all of your answers. I try to look inward but my attention dwindles so fast that I don’t find much. Mostly due to fear. There’s a lot down there that I just don’t possess the where with all to deal with. Hence, why I need to really work on my thinking before I can start any kind of venture.

On the other hand, a Blog might not be a bad idea.

I mean, from my research of blogs written with a personal voice. Personal blogs are more about the journey and personal growth. In the past, I have let my boyfriend read some of my work and he said: “sounds too personal”. Since I lacked self-esteem and self-trust, I abandoned that blog for fear that it was too personal and therefore, a waste of time. I didn’t have the confidence to tell him “Authoritative style blogs aren’t the only ones that can be monetized”. Instead, I took his opinion for fact and scrapped the whole project, to which I now regret. I didn’t realize it then, but I caused, even more, distrust towards myself by not trusting that I knew what I was doing. 

It may not always be a good time to start a business, but it’s always the right time to start a blog.

You never know where it may lead to, and you’ll really never know if you never try.
Until next time,

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