Typically, on the weekends I do absolutely nothing. I don’t party, I don’t do my hobbies, I don’t see anyone, I don’t do anything. I sleep. Eat. Sleep, watch TV, eat, sleep. Wake up, repeat. I don’t even workout, which would be the logical thing to do since I have the time and energy. Usually I just complain that I’m not making enough to save money and do nothing about it.
Today, however, I pep talked myself into looking at my life. How do I plan to make more money? How will I have fun while making money? How can I do what I love rather than work to pay bills? How will I turn it around? How will I become the best version of myself? Or will I remain comfortable? Work this job until I’m retirement age, and hope to turn things around later in life? Considering that last option makes me very unhappy so let’s not make that an actual option. I want to either be self-employed and own a few fashion related businesses. I don’t want to work under someone else forever. So, what do I want to do?
For as long as I can remember I’ve always been into fashion. ALWAYS.
I wanted to be a fashion designer for about 6 years between high school and college, then I wanted to design jewelry (in fact I still do but I want to wait until I increase my income), now I want to become a personal stylist and change people’s life through style and positive thinking. I was doing some research and learned I’m already on track for being a personal stylist. I’ve had lots of practice while working at DSW and New York and Company and I have an associate’s degree in fashion merchandising. I have also practiced on a handful of clients, mannequins, friends, family and myself. However, I need to create a new portfolio because I can’t find my old one (you have no idea how frustrated I am about this). I need to recreate proof that I can understand the needs of clients and help them regain their confidence by showing them how they can put their best foot forward or help with fashion projects.
I will start with myself first. My style hasn’t been the best lately, I realize it’s because I haven’t been bothering to keep up my appearance nor expanding my dwindling wardrobe. There’s more to style than just looking good. People who tend to stop caring for themselves have stopped valuing themselves. Some of the best dressers are just wearing a mask. When you take pride in yourself and who you are, you aren’t going to leave your house looking raggedy or overdone. Granted it’s better to be overdressed than under dressed, there are some occasions where overdressing can make one look desperate for attention, even if they aren’t. I think of dressing well as good PR: when your intended audience receives the message you intended for them to receive. Sometimes we think we’re sending the confidence signals, while Gucci’ed-down, but what we’re really sending is “I need to be validated”, “I value price tags not my self-worth” or “I’m self conscious about my lack of boobs, looks at these Gs instead”.
I want to make permanent change in people’s life. I want to be more than just a personal stylist. I want to teach women how to dress themselves and take control of their lives.
However, I must first start with taking control of myself. I must reign in my unhealthy thought patterns, unhealthy eating habits and workout on a consistent basis. I must start believing in myself and make decisions rather than avoid decision. There’s lots of growing to do if I am to become greater than June Ambrose. In the past, I have quit trying to be a stylist about 4 times all due to intimidation. I was the weakest link and when the going got tough, I’d get to thinking “I should just quit while I’m ahead, this isn’t for me”. I realize now, I was just being a quitter. This time I won’t quit, pause maybe, but no quitting.